Random & Incoherent
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
  Fan Mail from Pete
Dear Mr. Lee Ferguson,

I am writing to let you know I am one of your biggest fans.
I am president of the east coast chapter of your fan club, I fund reenactments of your movies, I even started a small group that has petitioned the mayor's office to name your birthday as a city holiday.

I would like to also tell you that your last adult film, "Sodomy? No, No, No Sodo you!!!" was just made available to buy on DVD, where I live. I was first in line to buy it. I liked this artistic look at the underbelly of proctology, even though critics say that this is just a retelling of one of your earlier works, "The K.Y. Kid."

Interesting side note, before I was a Furry Head (your fans refer to themselves as that), I believed the K.Y. stood for the Kentucky Kid, foolish me.

I love your work so much that I could not narrow my favorite piece of adult cinéma vérité to just one.

The first one that comes to mind is that medieval tale set in England amidst a holy war, aptly called, "Cumalot."

I have recently heard, through the grape vine that a Lee Ferguson collection will be released, is it true? A few titles that are rumored to be included are that enema flick you did called, "Preparation H-2-O," that one you did some prison time for, "Chester the Molester," and who could ever forget about, "Harry Daughter," with you as a wide eyed sorcerer forced to do magic spells with your wand?

I hope all is going well, I hear that you are putting the final touches on your football movie called, "Tight Ends, Wide Receivers." I hope no injuries were sustained like in that one movie you did called, "You Can't Spell Menstruation Without The Men."

I am looking forward to the new titles you have coming out later this year, like, "Strong Enough For A Man, But Made For A Woman," and a Christmas movie, "Here Cums Santa Clause," a baseball movie called, "If You Build It They Will Cum."

It is hard to believe in just two short years you have completed over 87 movies, impressive by any standard. Well I better go, I was just writing this letter to say you are an inspiration, and one hell of an actor, Keep up the good work.

Your biggest fan.

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