Random & Incoherent
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
  Conspiracy Theory
I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.....



Gary Busey IS Charlie Daniels!



Yeah, I know, I didn't believe it at first either, but when was the last time you listened to Devil Went Down to Georgia?

When Whitt first brought this theory to my attention, I pooh-poohed the entire idea. Chalking up his insanity to 'roid rage or some such nonsense. But then I listened to the song. Then I listened to the song again while looking at a photo of Gary Busey. Then I listened for a third time.

You know how Hollywood can be, what with their "special-effects" and their "make-up". All it takes is bad lighting, a cowboy hat, and a good fake beard.

Kind of like the Pepsi challenge: you, the public, should listen to the song and you should decide who's actually singing. I'm anxiously awaiting other opinions on this matter
 
  You know you're a midget when:
* You're shorter than 4'10"
* You need help at an all-you-can-eat salad bar
* You drive a go-kart
* You have a step ladder by your bed
* You can go down on him or her without bending over



It's not that I think midgets (dwarves, little people, etc.) are funny. I just like to throw in the need for a midget throughout casual conversation. Not really sure why. But if you were to randomly ask me what I was doing, I'd probably be a smart ass and say something like shopping for midget strippers to entertain me in the car while I drive around the greater metropolitan Charlotte area. Of course, I think that the strobe lights and music and DJ might be a bit distracting.

And certain people have heard me make similar statements so often, that they oft times beat me to the punchline.

You can thank my man Dirty for the list above.

And now I'm off in search of some midget hookers. I'm on a budget and I've heard that they're half-price!
 
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Kevin O'Mellan (Whittington Appraisals): Appraiser in Salisbury, Rowan County, North Carolina



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