Random & Incoherent
Saturday, September 30, 2006
  1 hump or 2?
  Proof of Global Warming
Friday, September 29, 2006
  Political correctness
  Can't tell if this is good or bad
Thursday, September 28, 2006
  Coming or Going?
No trick photography, I promise.

This truck passed a friend of mine and his wife a couple of weeks ago in Byhalia, MS. You can imagine their reaction as this truck drove by them.
Luckily, his wife never leaves home without a camera.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
  Perfect for that first date
When going out in nothing but a bra just isn't enough, now there's Enlightened Light-up bras!

Light-up bras make a popular addition to any outfit, and will definitely bring you attention!

Just goes to show you that there really is a market for almost anything. I don't know any women that would actually wear such a thing, but then again, the attention whores that I know don't get to be that way until they've had a few drinks, so who knows?!?!
  Lego Suicides
Check out the Flickr Slideshow for The Lego Suicides.

"combining a morbid sense of humor and LEGO ® bricks..."
To Kill an American

You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is . So they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)

"An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim.
In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.
The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty , welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
  Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
  And a former teacher said I wouldn't amount to anything!
I am worth $1,439,630 on HumanForSale.com
Monday, September 25, 2006
  Heart Exercises
Your Heart needs to be exercised.

Here are the latest exercises approved by the Heart Association, but not recommended for work/office situations

CLICK EACH 1 BELOW (Allow proper time for exercises to work)

Exercise 1

Exercise 2

Exercise 3

Exercise 4

Exercise 5
For a mere 20 large, you too could have a vehicle that looks like it came straight outta the original Star Wars movie:

The Badonkadonk


* Carries cargo or a crew of up to five internally or on the roof.
* Piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch.
* 6hp Tecumseh gasoline engine, top speed 40 mph.
* Includes head/tail and turn signal lights, trim and underbody lighting.
* 400 watt premium sound with PA system, plush interior, and external camera.

What's even better is that you can order it from Amazon!
  Car alarm as burglar deterrent
Next time you come home for the night and you go to put your keys away, think of this:
It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation.

Start keeping your car keys next to your bed on the night stand when you go to bed at night.

If you think someone is trying to get into your house, or if you hear a noise outside yor house, just press the panic alarm on your car key chain. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere Inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage.

If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break in your house, odds are the burglar or rapist won't stick around.....after a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that.

Try yours to make sure it works before you rely on it. Just know that you must press the alarm button again to turn it off.

And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there.....
  Pass the Butter
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the end...gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study .

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine..

Very high in trans fatty acids.

Triple risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.

Lowers quality of breast milk.

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

You can try this yourself:

Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:

* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)

* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it Even those teeny weeny micro organisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
  Monitor Screen Cleaning
You probably don't realize it, but your computer screen must be cleaned each day.

The cleaning should be on the inside of the glass as well as the outside.
This is difficult to do.
So I am including a cleaning device which should do the trick.

Move the mouse around the screen to clean.

Click the link to try this fabulous new cleaning tool:
Monitor Screen Cleaning

  Blow Darts...
For those times when killing just isn't an option

I would pay good money to have something like this for daily use. Only way it could get better was if there was something similar in aerosol form.
Friday, September 22, 2006
  Why kids should NOT be left alone.....
  Definition of ugly
An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.

The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins?"

The woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7."

"Why? Do you think they look alike?"

"No", he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice
  Never Stand Between a Hungry Man and the Buffet Line
It's like boxing Mike Tyson, you could lose an ear!
  Why Men Drink Beer
  Public Service Announcement - - Strokes
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within three hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke . . . totally. He said the trick was having a stroke recognized, diagnosed and then getting the patient medically cared for within three hours, which is tough.


Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps.

Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE .

T *Ask the person to TALK, to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE. (Coherently) (i.e. .. . It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue . if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke .

If he or she has trouble with any one of these tasks, call 911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
  Top Country Western Songs
17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out
All Day Long

15. If I Can't Be Number 1 In Your Life, Then Number 2 On You

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of
Prison By Now

6. My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

5. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. Her Tooth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number One song is:

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But
I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
Thursday, September 21, 2006
It's not always fun and games while at work.....

Sometimes we get stupid, too!
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
  White and Nerdy
Remind you of anyone?

A Division of Mellanman Productions

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Location: Salisbury, North Carolina, United States

Kevin O'Mellan (Whittington Appraisals): Appraiser in Salisbury, Rowan County, North Carolina

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