Random & Incoherent
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7.. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
Etiquette tips for a gay wedding:
1. Superstition suggests that the two grooms should not get mani-pedis at the same spa on the day of the wedding.
2. It is customary for one of the grooms to carry something shiny, something flirty, something trashy and something dirty during the ceremony.
3. It is generally considered unlucky to use any of the following items during the first dance - flags, hand-held lasers, streamers, whistles or glowsticks.
4. It is considered bad luck if either of the grooms have dated the priest.
5. It is customary for the parents of the grooms to drink during the ceremony.
6. Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating wedding cake as it contains too many carbs.
7. It is generally customary to avoid using show tunes during the actual ceremony.
8. According to superstition, it is bad luck to throw the bouquet overhand.
9. It is also considered bad luck to have more than one person named "Bruce" in the wedding party.
10. The best man/men should be prepared with essential items such as chap-stick, tissues, a mustache comb and glitter.
11. If a chihuahua is used in the wedding ceremony, it is generally assumed that the father of the older groom is on "pooper scooper" duty.
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