Random & Incoherent
Thursday, December 08, 2005
  Double O'Mellan
Filed under:

This message comes to you under the most secretive manner, and must be regarded with the utmost importance.

I remember back when we were both training at the Young Organization for Academic Spy Specialties. Yes, not a day goes by that I don't think of Y.O. A.S.S.

Remember how you said that I could never get in? Well I proved you wrong, I got into Y.O. A.S.S.
And when I got there I was scared I would not be able to measure up to the men who came before me.
Y.O. A.S.S. has seen many a great man and I was afraid I could not rise to the task at hand.
I was even going to, Oh god this sends a chill down my back every time I think about it, I was even going to pull out of Y.O. A.S.S. and you wouldn't let me.
You said that I should embrace Y.O. A.S.S. and never let go.
You challenged me to always come on time, and I did.
I came, and I came, and I came, you could say I am still coming, I am the head master of Y.O. A.S.S. now.

Anyway, lets dispense with the pleasantries.
I am sending you this high priority message because we have a new assignment for you. This supercedes all other missions you may be on.
I heard of your work at the prison, The Green Smile, good job.
This will, however, be more difficult.
You may have heard of the rash of Anthrax letters that have been sent out recently, well this has nothing to do with that.
What you are about to read is as appalling as it is devious.
The group known as Dedicated individuals Conditioned to Kill have raised their ugly heads.
That's right, my friend, D.I.C.K. is back and they want Y.O. A.S.S.

Reliable sources have said that D.I.C.K. is planning something big.
We must not let D.I.C.K. enter Y.O. A.S.S. at any cost. the price would be to high. That's why we need you.
If D.I.C.K. were to, somehow, covertly insert itself into Y.O. A.S.S., we would never know.
Your mission, If you choose to acccept it, is to keep D.I.C.K. out.

You won't be alone, you are allowed to choose up to three members for your team.
May I suggest some muscle, like that of ICE TREY, his lack of intercourse with thin women has given this man superhuman strength.
The SHEPPARD, her power to forget things will come in handy if she is caught and interrogated.
The PAINTER, she has the power to set the most complex fires and come out as innocent looking as the victims she sets ablaze.
RINTIN DINDA, the man-beast, he has the power to attract and control any dog.
Choose your team wisely, my friend, because your arch nemesis, C-Sharpe, is the new head of D.I.C.K.

We all thought him to be dead, but he has secretly been gathering an army under his new name C.L. Whitey.
I am not going to lie to you, but his henchmen are as bad as they come.
First, there is the trio of evil that has been running amuck for some time now.
Their mission is to send women into a type of labia limbo, making them never want sex again.
The trio consists of QUICK WITT, SWIFT THRIFT, and The JOHN, a man no one notices because of his silence.
Other members include 3T, also known as The Three Towers. All three women are believed to be part of a tribe of amazons that eat men.
Don't sleep with any one of them, no matter how much they may beg, because the other two will show up and critique your performance.

C.L. Whitey is now dressing like a black Colonel Sanders and has not been seen without his new, and most sinister sidekick, The WOOD.
The WOOD was once a stunt man for the likes of Gary Coleman, Emanuel Lewis, and that guy who stole Mr. Carey's wife away in "ME, Myself and Irene".
He underwent some personal problems one night, as he was getting his evening's running start to jump into bed, when the T.V. played the first ever Buddy Lee commercial.
That sent him into a tail spin, and he has been C.L. Whitey's right hand man ever since.
I hope this is enough information to start with, you will meet your team at old McConnell's.
You know him, he had a farm.
Your contact's name is DIRTY.
A low level agent, usually just a fluffer.
Your pass phrase answer is, "Underwear."
His pass phrase question is, "What were you eating under there?"
As always, if you, or any member of your team, is caught or killed, we will act as if you were a rouge team operating alone.

Good luck, God speed, and many kills.

Your friend, Papa Halo Alpha Halo Alpha

This message will delete itself in 5 seconds.

A blast from the past, found while cleaning up email, from Phaha
Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
A Division of Mellanman Productions

My Photo
Location: Salisbury, North Carolina, United States

Kevin O'Mellan (Whittington Appraisals): Appraiser in Salisbury, Rowan County, North Carolina

    Powered by FeedBlitz

October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / January 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / August 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / December 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / May 2011 /

Powered by Blogger


Fair Use Notice: This site includes excerpts from and links to copyrighted media which have not been pre-authorized by their respective owners. U.S. copyright law allows for the "Fair Use" of copyrighted materials for the purposes of criticism, parody, and education. As specified in U.S. Code Title 17, Section 107, the material on this site is not distributed for profit.