Random & Incoherent
Thursday, December 08, 2005
  Top five
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Call them bum wines, street wines, fortified wines, wino wines, or twist-cap wines.

It's absolutely amazing what is out on this fine invention we refer to as the "internet". The best part about BUMWINE.COM are the rankings, which compare "worste taste", "getting wasted", and "warmth". Strange that cost is never factored in. Especially if these are drinks known to be favored by bums. It's not like bums have a lot of money to be discerning in their alcohol choices. Much the same with college students. There isn't a wine listed on BUMWINE.COM that I have not sampled at some point in my illustrious career, all in the name of research. Yeah, that's it, research. Researching how to appropriate alcoholic beverages while under the legal drinking age. Researching tolerance levels. And sometimes, not even needing a reason. Even Better is that now "Boone's Farm" wine is listed, not so much as a "bum wine", moreso "underage girl" wine. This was a staple for a majority of college girls. The wussy ones. The types of chicks that I hung out with in college, continue to hang out with, and even married weren't wussified like that. They'll throw back beer with you all night long and challenge you to a game of flippy cup. Of course, if you try to offer tham a nice cup of MD 20/20, prepare to get your ass handed to you.

"Bum wine" appeals to me on a level outside of nostalgia, and that's due to the fact that I'm not a beer snob. I enjoy the hops infused equivilant of "bum wine", malt liqour. A little Colt 45, Schlitz, Olde English. Bigger bottles and a higher alcohol content. What could possibly go wrong?
 
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