From the mind of Phaha: Episode I
Filed under: ideologyWhat could I say That has not been said before?
What could I say that will not offend the pallets of the delicate masses?
What could I offer that could be possibly construed as new or uplifting?
Well, nothing really, you all know me, I am an ass, I am mean, I say the wrong thing, I only think about myself, I hurt peoples feelings, I am loud and obnoxious.
So why break away from what works? This is, after all, My world and this is what I think.
I think that if your pants are to tight you will fishtail when you walk.
That I can't believe it's not butter.
That you can always spot the gay dog by the neckerchief he wears.
That I heard you're a turd.
That in a group of sixty people in line waiting, I will be next to the person with gas, and get blamed.
That I thought I was abducted once, turns out it was my exocentric proctologist doing house calls.
That if a man is measured by his good deeds, I am 8 inches.
That the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is just a bronzed chronic leaf.
That if I were Muslim my name would be MaFukare, or Haznt bin layd.
That, to women, men are like snow storms.
They never now how long one will last, or when the next one will come along, and most importantly how many inches they'll bring.
That this one time my grandfather said, "Pet yu fatty pis of chit, yu want to know how yu can tell when yu in luv? yu take dis girl out for a long walk, don't look at me like dat. I don't mean like exercise or nuttin'. Anyway go on a long walk, work up big hunger, easy for yu, I mean work up her hunger. Den cook big meal, play some Jon Seccada, say a lil prayer, and let her see yu eat, if she no run den yu in luv. Yu porker, yu the other white meat.
That Pee-wee's big adventure was a lot more entertaining than big top Pee-wee.
That some good porn names that are not used are, Dick eatin, Hairy Carry, E. Normus, Tom Thumb, and David Da shuvme.
That my blood type is ragu.
That I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I believe the children are our future teach them well and let them lead the way show them all the beauty they possess inside.
THIS HAS BEEN FROM THE MIND OF PHAHA.
blast-ed from the past-ed, email cleanup, PHAHA