True Friendship Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".



Remember.......A good friend will help you move.....a REALLY good friend will help you move a body.......( let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.)

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.  ¶ 11:01 AM