Random & Incoherent
Thursday, March 23, 2006
  family values vs. freak nasty

On Friday, March 17 2006 (St. Patrick’s Day), I became an uncle. My sister-in-law delivered into this world Michael Chase Hallman. Now I’ve known for about as long as I’ve known her that this is what she’s always wanted, to be a wife and mother.

A buddy of mine at work just showed me the sonogram pictures: his wife is about 10 weeks into her pregnancy.

A friend in Columbia is currently working on renovating a room in his house, turning it into a nursery for the soon to be released rug rat.

Yet another friend who has a child under the age of two is working on child number 2.

The biggest similarity between all four is the fact that the “we’re trying to have a baby” conversation has been brought up.

I think it’s all a scam.

It’s a “meaningful” way to go outside of social mores and discuss sex. With people you know. With people you don’t. With damn near anybody that will listen.

When my wife’s sister got married, everyone was aware of the fact that she and her husband would begin “work” on their new family immediately. As long as you say it like that, then it’s a totally acceptable conversation. One that could feasibly held in front of a preacher, while in church, during the sermon. But try having the same conversation in the same situation without referencing reproduction. Go ahead, I dare you. Next time you find yourself in a situation where talk of procreation is “A-OK”, discuss your sex life with near-strangers. Chances are that those around you will shoot you the googly-eye. Hell, you might even catch an elbow in the ribs. Trust me, I know. After my nuptials, the first thing that I ever stated as a married man was how we were going back to the hotel room to make the sweet love as husband and wife. Good thing there was a lot of background noise and people had been drinking, otherwise, had it been heard, it would have been a serious faux paus, and only because I did not reference the possibility of planting my seed (which sounds really dirty when you say it like that).

Sit down with any wannabe mom & pop and you will be relegated to stories of how many times they did the deed, what different positions they might have used, any performance enhancing drugs that were taken (Viagra/fertility drugs), how many more days before she is ovulating again, what the latest sperm count is, etc., etc., etc.

It borders on profane conversation. In the time it took to hear about Sue’s ovulation cycle, you’ve just formed new opinions about your so-called friends. In no other social setting is it appropriate to discus something so intimate. SO STOP DOING IT!

Going forward, I would like to propose that any people that are in the process of starting a family simply state “we’re trying to start a family”. No more detail is needed.

And the same goes for any people that are not trying to start a family. I don’t need to hear your sex stories either. That’s what I have the internet for.

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
A Division of Mellanman Productions

My Photo
Location: Salisbury, North Carolina, United States

Kevin O'Mellan (Whittington Appraisals): Appraiser in Salisbury, Rowan County, North Carolina

    Powered by FeedBlitz

October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / January 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / August 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / December 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / May 2011 /

Powered by Blogger


Fair Use Notice: This site includes excerpts from and links to copyrighted media which have not been pre-authorized by their respective owners. U.S. copyright law allows for the "Fair Use" of copyrighted materials for the purposes of criticism, parody, and education. As specified in U.S. Code Title 17, Section 107, the material on this site is not distributed for profit.