Random & Incoherent
Monday, October 24, 2005
  one big ass list
Others have done it before, now I decided it was my turn
some of you may know some of these things, some of you may not
most of you probably don't care, but suck it up and read anyway

fresh from the gray matter:
100 Things about Mellanman

1. Having spent the better part of my life in glasses/contacts, I have recently undergone the Lasik eye treatment and now no longer have to be constrained to such devices

2. Not a part of the punk scene, but have owned at least one pair of “Doc Marten” shoes over the course of the last 15 years. They are the most consistently comfortable pair of shoes ever

3. Pierced my left ear while I was in college. A candle, a stick pin, a cube of ice, and quite a bit of alcohol was involved

4. I was a state champion in SC for male gymnastics, 3 years running

5. I attended the Olympic training camp in Colorado Springs, and realized I was not good enough to ever compete at that level

6. I was in honor level courses in high school, but never really put forth much effort

7. The only reason I chose psychology as a major in college was due to the fact that I found it easy, not because I really wanted a career in that field

8. When I walked across the stage to collect my college diploma, I had not officially graduated.

9. I did not graduate due to having failed “Typing 101”

10. I failed “Typing 101” due to an attendance issue (I was a senior and it was an 8 am class)

11. I officially graduated by going to summer school and taking a broadcast class. I was on-air at the college radio station to earn the remaining credits to graduate. Sure beats typing

12. My first job out of college was at a group home for behaviorally challenged children.

13. I made less money at my first job than my GED counterparts

14. During my first year out of college, I had no residence. I would stay at the group home during my shift, then drive 6 hours to the beach to stay with my girlfriend (now my wife)

15. I procrastinate at almost everything I do, but when I get around to doing something, I’m not going to leave until it’s finished

16. My career as a gymnast was cut short due to injury. But it probably happened at the right time, as I did not feel that I could achieve any higher in that field

17. My joints have been abused to the point early onset arthritis (and a little heredity)

18. I have dislocated my shoulder

19. I have fallen, face down, from the second story of a house

20. I’ve been in emergency rooms in TN, SC, NC, OH, and CA

21. I have refused to go to the emergency room in GA, although probably needed to go

22. I wrote an essay in 5th grade during “fire safety” week that won me the title of “Honorary Fire Chief” in Lakewood, Ohio

23. I had accidentally set a piece of the carpet in my room on fire

24. I have accidentally set a pot of ribs on fire, turning the cabinets black, setting the smoke alarms off, and raising suspicion from my neighbors

25. I have accidentally blown up a pile of leaves in my backyard, on Thanksgiving, requiring the local fire dept. to show up

26. I have accidentally covered my arms in 1st to 3rd degree burns when inappropriately lighting a gas grill, also lost all facial hair (even the eyebrows)

27. In one weekend I have experienced what has been listed as the most stressful activities a person can encounter

28. Got married on Saturday, moved from NC to GA on Monday, started a new job on Tuesday. My wife had to go back to NC to finish out her 2 weeks

29. I have never broken a bone in my body

30. I have a disdain for doctors and the medical profession, to which I will avoid at all costs any trip to a hospital/doctor’s office/dentist

31. I believe that we as a society are too dependent on prescription drugs and do not believe that every little problem should be solved with drugs

32. Outside of a cruise to Mexico, I have never been out of the country

33. I moved to GA in an attempt to build a career in “Corporate America”

34. I feel I have accomplished the career goal to it’s fullest potential and am now ready to move elsewhere and try something new

35. I never thought I would own my own home, yet I am currently in the process of selling my second house

36. During my four years working in a fast food establishment through college, I never spent money on groceries, rather eating at my place of employment

37. I have three tattoos. Two of which I obtained while in college and had touched-up after moving to GA, and one I got after my son was born. And I don’t think I’m done yet

38. I haven’t worn a wristwatch in over 2 years

39. During the course of laundry day, I fold my socks and underwear, and some people find this to be odd

40. I don’t let my wife do my laundry, it’s a bit of my obsessive compulsive disorder coming through

41. After my first year of college (out of state) I determined I did not want to return home. I got myself a second job and worked on gaining residency in NC

42. I shared a one bedroom apartment with 2 other guys, which was ok, I had 2 jobs, I was never there

43. I met my wife by inadvertently pissing her off on morning on the way to class

44. Even though I’m prone to have a f*ck off mentality, I am still concerned with whether or not I have hurt someone’s feelings

45. I am jealous of one of my best friends

46. I don’t feel that I have found my calling in life, or that I even have one

47. I think that I have done everything one is supposed to to become successful, yet I do not feel that I have achieved it

48. My first car was a 1984 Ford Escort GT, I had it for a week

49. Everything is material for a joke, whether it has happened to me, someone I know, or people I don’t. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be in good taste, just that it’s a target

50. I have injured myself, to the point of bleeding, while break dancing. Unfortunately, I have witnesses

51. I have been bitch smacked by a refrigerator

52. I prefer Lowe’s to Home Depot for all of my hardware/home project needs

53. I’m not good at math

54. I’m fidgety, which manifests itself in my hands, occasionally in my tapping toes

55. I like to dance, but feel like I look like a fool, which is why it normally happens when there has been much alcohol involved

56. There has only been one beer that I have tried that will pass these lips again, and that was Gennessee Cream Ale, anything else, as long as it’s cold, is probably going to be alright

57. Contrary to popular belief, I have never experimented with “hard” drugs

58. I have never been in a fist fight

59. I was involved in Model U.N. while in high school, not because I really wanted to, but because my friends were doing it and there were overnight trips involved. Plus it looks good on a college application

60. I can’t remember that last time I actually had an original idea

61. I’m still wearing the same belt, on a daily basis, that I got in middle school

62. I have zero interest in organized sports (football, baseball, basketball, etc)

63. Foosball, darts, pool, beer pong, flippy cup, these are all organized sports I can get behind

64. I’m still amazed that I can take pictures with my phone and then send it out as email

65. My son is the best surprise I’ve ever gotten, no matter how often he sends me into fits of ranting/raving

66. My wife, a former computer science student, thinks it’s my goal in life to keep her in the technological dark ages, I think she just doesn’t want to be bothered by it and leaves it to me to figure out

67. I have not replaced the remote I had in my car for the garage door opener. Only my wife has one. I still use the old fashioned key to gain entry to my house through the front door

68. I’ve lost touch with at least one of my high school buddies. But the door swings both ways

69. As I get older, I start seeing my life as an episode of “Survivor”, voting off people that I feel have no bearing on my future life, or bring nothing to the table

70. I almost had an opportunity to be on the “Judge Hatchett” show, but apparently all parties weren’t interested in airing out laundry in such a fashion

71. I currently have a 2 car garage that cannot be used to park vehicles in. One half has been turned into a bar, the other half is storage. Therefore the cars stay in the driveway

72. I absolutely abhor yard work

73. I give blood at every blood drive that is held at my place of employment, yet give nothing to any other charity

74. I fear growing older and losing the ability to move on my own

75. I enjoyed my wedding day and wouldn’t trade the woman I married for anyone, but I think we both would have been happier to have done it a different way

76. I have only been in one car accident, and it wasn’t during the 5 years in Atlanta with it’s numerous interstates crisscrossing the city, but rather a state highway in the mountains of NC

77. I consider myself a handy man, not handy enough to build something from scratch, but handy enough to fix certain things and assemble others, considering there are directions

78. I have learned that if the road is clear and the hill is steep enough, you can get a 1979 Toyota Celica to cross the 100MPH mark

79. You can never go wrong if you spend any part of your day at a festival of some sorts

80. I am not racist, but I am prejudiced, and that can cross all racial boundaries

81. I have a problem saying “no” to people, which often leads me to doing things that I otherwise would opt out of

82. I recognize the need to exercise, but cannot find the motivation to do so

83. I’m not a big fan of children. I like mine just fine, it’s other people’s kids that tend to get on my nerves

84. I think I would like a chance to be “Mr. Mom”

85. My drugs of choice are nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine (although I’m making a concerted effort to cut out the caffeine: you know, the worse of the three)

86. I prefer “cheap” beer to the expensive stuff, but that’s due to the philosophy of drinking for quantity rather that quality

87. I have never unintentionally locked my keys in the car

88. I have been blamed for many things, most of which I had no direct involvement

89. I wholeheartedly believe in the death penalty and think that it should be utilized more often

90. I believe that if you rape/murder/molest you do not deserve to share the air that I breathe

91. I do not believe that the government should tell business how to run their businesses

92. I think the punishment should fit the crime

93. I don’t care if you inhaled

94. I have learned that there more important things in my life than me

95. Technology’s great, when it works, but when it breaks, my wife expects me to be able to fix it and fix it easily, not always that case. Thank God for warranties

96. Desecrations to the English language make my skin crawl, much like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard

97. I wish I knew how to do automotive work, like rebuild an engine, but I’ll settle for learning how to do my own tune-up

98. I’ve been to the Nation’s capital and wasn’t impressed. Could’ve been due to the fact that I was in middle school at the time

99. I feel persecuted as a smoker

100. A list like this is harder than it looks, and harder than originally anticipated
 
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