Random & Incoherent
Monday, April 24, 2006
  King Kong - - A review by Trey Raley
I have to stand up and applaud.

Finally there was a movie in 2005 that had the balls to tackle a hot button topic and finally help break the barriers and open the world's eyes.

Finally a movie that explores tolerance in a world that lacks the ability to see things outside their shallow views of morality and normalcy.

And I'm not talking about that movie about those queer cowboys.
I'm talking about the much more serious message that King Kong provides about the world intolerance of different species relationships.

I think the world finally has come to accept the fact that people are homosexual because they are too ugly to have anyone from the opposite sex actually find them attractive (see Ellen Degeneres).

But what about the people who are even too ugly for their own sex?
Sure, it's easy to attack Billy Bob for having sex with a sheep, or look at me funny when I open-mouth kiss my cats, but who is to judge?

When you have three teeth and you have to call your father "Uncle Dad", who else is Billy Bob going to have sex with?
Especially if he is an only child. Sometimes it is hard to accept these alternative lifestyles if we have not been in those person's shoes.

That, I think, is the clear message that this movie is trying to tackle. A big
topic for a big gorilla.

The story is about a big ape that is on an island where there are no
other gorillas for him to have relations with.
The closest things are the natives that are so ugly that Colin Farrell wouldn't even have sex with them.

Then, all of a sudden, he meets this hot chick (Naomi Watts) and he immediately
wants to bang her. The hot chick is a little reluctant because their
first date does not go that well.

You know, typical first date stuff, like having to fight three Tyrannosaurus Rex's, and stuff like that.

But eventually, she comes around, and they develop a relationship with each other. But then all of Naomi's friends try to cock block the gorilla by trying to pull her
off of the island. Basically like when you meet a girl at a bar and her
friends pull the old "We came together and we are leaving together" bit at the
end of the night.

But Kong is persistent, and eventually wins the girl over.
And right before Kong seals the deal he gets shot down....literally!

Sort of like when you get the girl home and one thing is leading to another and
she asks if you have a condom, and you don't.

The story itself is great, but what is even more impressive again, is the
message. It is clear that Kong falling in love with a human was not a choice, he just didn't have any other options.

Sometimes a person loves whoever loves them back, even if that person is not the same species.
Billy Bob doesn't choose to have sex with a sheep, but the sheep is the only
thing that would allow him to have sex with it.

People do not become unattractive to other humans, they are born that way, and that is why we need to follow the deep meaning of this epic film and start a new revolution of acceptance for different species relationships. Hopefully this great film will help open the floodgates of tolerance for these hideously unattractive
humans that are forced to explore alternative lifestyle to live a fuller, happier

On a side note, now that Kong is dead, if Naomi Watts wants a giant,
hairy man that smells kind of funny and enjoys throwing his own feces, I live
in Raleigh, NC.

Look me up and I'll share my banana with you.

Rating: Does not suck
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