Monday, August 29, 2005
feel the burn
In an effort to thin the unattractive thatches of hair from my chest (keep in mind, it's not Tom Selleck-esque, but rather patchy and scraggly) I made a slight timing error.
And I'm not sure if it's simple vanity that made these thoughts run through my head. It's not as if I'm trying to attract a mate. If I was, I think my wife would be a bit upset with that reasoning. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself part of the metrosexual craze, although I am concerned with presenting a pleasant appearance.
Originally, I had the debate with myself as to how to properly go about this process. Should I use shaving cream and a razor? Perhaps electric clippers. But what's this? A product specifically for men? That's right, Nair for Men. I figured that since I didn't want to run any type of blade over the length of my torso, and since the motor on my beard trimmer seems to be failing, I thought "why not give it a try?"
Now, if you read the directions, which I did, you are instructed to leave the product on the applied area for approximately 4 minutes. Well, once I had applied the product, what was I to do to occupy those 4 minutes? As it turned out, I was also in need of a good facial shaving. So I started the hot water running and applied the shaving cream and started the ritual that every man knows.
The problem is that apparently it takes me longer than 4 minutes to shave my face. And as is explicitly written in the directions for Nair "DO NOT EXCEED 10 MINUTES"! The resulting discomfort definitely outweighs any ease of use. I'm fairly certain that what I experienced was a chemical burn over the majority of my torso. Now for those that don't know, this would be akin to a sunburn. Except that it takes hours in the sun to accomplish the same amount of skin peeling fun that I brought against myself in approximately 15 minutes. Yes, my chest may be smooth as a newborn's freshly wiped butt, however, what good is that if it can't be touched? If even the softest of cotton t-shirts irritates your now extremely sensitive skin?
The product works, but heed their warning! DO NOT EXCEED 10 MINUTES
Now, I'm off to see what all the fuss is about getting a manicure. ¶ 8:14 AM
And I'm not sure if it's simple vanity that made these thoughts run through my head. It's not as if I'm trying to attract a mate. If I was, I think my wife would be a bit upset with that reasoning. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself part of the metrosexual craze, although I am concerned with presenting a pleasant appearance.
Originally, I had the debate with myself as to how to properly go about this process. Should I use shaving cream and a razor? Perhaps electric clippers. But what's this? A product specifically for men? That's right, Nair for Men. I figured that since I didn't want to run any type of blade over the length of my torso, and since the motor on my beard trimmer seems to be failing, I thought "why not give it a try?"
Now, if you read the directions, which I did, you are instructed to leave the product on the applied area for approximately 4 minutes. Well, once I had applied the product, what was I to do to occupy those 4 minutes? As it turned out, I was also in need of a good facial shaving. So I started the hot water running and applied the shaving cream and started the ritual that every man knows.
The problem is that apparently it takes me longer than 4 minutes to shave my face. And as is explicitly written in the directions for Nair "DO NOT EXCEED 10 MINUTES"! The resulting discomfort definitely outweighs any ease of use. I'm fairly certain that what I experienced was a chemical burn over the majority of my torso. Now for those that don't know, this would be akin to a sunburn. Except that it takes hours in the sun to accomplish the same amount of skin peeling fun that I brought against myself in approximately 15 minutes. Yes, my chest may be smooth as a newborn's freshly wiped butt, however, what good is that if it can't be touched? If even the softest of cotton t-shirts irritates your now extremely sensitive skin?
The product works, but heed their warning! DO NOT EXCEED 10 MINUTES
Now, I'm off to see what all the fuss is about getting a manicure. ¶ 8:14 AM
