Monday, February 07, 2005
Worst. Dentist. Ever!
I start my day out remembering that I have a dentist appointment. Back in November I had had a root canal performed on the tooth that sits in the far upper left corner of my mouth. After a root canal, a temporary crown is placed while you wait for the permanent crown to be manufactured. Now, the permanent crown that I was waiting for was to be made from "high noble". For those that don't know, that's gold. That's right, dentist man gonna put some bling in the mellanman's grill.
Well, all was going as planned. The dentist had removed the temporary crown and had prepped the tooth for the permanent crown. He had the gold ready to go and placed it where it was needed. Well, something slipped and the gold started rolling backwards towards the passageway to my gullet. Luckily, as I was gagging on it, I sat bolt upright, coughing and sputtering and spitting the crown across the room.
The dentist then proceeds to clean off and sterilize the gold, wanting to make another attempt. This time he wants to take an x-ray to ensure that the crown is seated properly. So with his fingers, the assistant's fingers, the crown, and the x-ray equipment all trying to find a home in my mouth.......something slips.
Lying prone in a dental chair with your head tilted back is not the best position for this scenario. Needless to say, the crown once again is making a beeline (like so many beers before it) for the back of my throat. This time I am unable to sit up in enough time, or cough with enough force, to stop gravity (remember, gravity's not just a good idea, it's the law).
So now I've just finished a $2500.00 mid-morning snack. The dentist can't believe it, saying that he's never experienced this before and checks my mouth THREE times before accepting the fact that I was not hiding the gold to take to the pawn shop after our little visit.
Once everyon had calmed down, the dentist looks at me and with a straight face tells me "when you void, I want you to check the movement and let me know when you've found the crown". I'm in such a state of shock at his statement that all I can do is nod my head in agreement. So it's off to Wal-Mart for a strainer and some rubber gloves. That's right ladies and gentlemen, he wants the gold back, and apparently, it's my job to go gold digging.
Needless to say, I did not make it into work today. I needed a day off to adjust to the physicality of what I was being requested to do. And just so everybody knows, so far there has not been any gold in them thar hills.
Of course, my next concern is what is the dentist planning on doing with the crown if and when he gets it back? Same use as before? Good lord! From that point on, anytime that I ate anything, I'd be wondering "why does everything taste like shit?" ¶ 11:14 PM
Well, all was going as planned. The dentist had removed the temporary crown and had prepped the tooth for the permanent crown. He had the gold ready to go and placed it where it was needed. Well, something slipped and the gold started rolling backwards towards the passageway to my gullet. Luckily, as I was gagging on it, I sat bolt upright, coughing and sputtering and spitting the crown across the room.
The dentist then proceeds to clean off and sterilize the gold, wanting to make another attempt. This time he wants to take an x-ray to ensure that the crown is seated properly. So with his fingers, the assistant's fingers, the crown, and the x-ray equipment all trying to find a home in my mouth.......something slips.
Lying prone in a dental chair with your head tilted back is not the best position for this scenario. Needless to say, the crown once again is making a beeline (like so many beers before it) for the back of my throat. This time I am unable to sit up in enough time, or cough with enough force, to stop gravity (remember, gravity's not just a good idea, it's the law).
So now I've just finished a $2500.00 mid-morning snack. The dentist can't believe it, saying that he's never experienced this before and checks my mouth THREE times before accepting the fact that I was not hiding the gold to take to the pawn shop after our little visit.
Once everyon had calmed down, the dentist looks at me and with a straight face tells me "when you void, I want you to check the movement and let me know when you've found the crown". I'm in such a state of shock at his statement that all I can do is nod my head in agreement. So it's off to Wal-Mart for a strainer and some rubber gloves. That's right ladies and gentlemen, he wants the gold back, and apparently, it's my job to go gold digging.
Needless to say, I did not make it into work today. I needed a day off to adjust to the physicality of what I was being requested to do. And just so everybody knows, so far there has not been any gold in them thar hills.
Of course, my next concern is what is the dentist planning on doing with the crown if and when he gets it back? Same use as before? Good lord! From that point on, anytime that I ate anything, I'd be wondering "why does everything taste like shit?" ¶ 11:14 PM
