letter to the passport   office...
   Dear  Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my  address and telephone number and knows
that I bought a cable t.v. from  them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on
my  social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed 
for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's 
license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs
declaration forms I've had to fill out before being  allowed off the plane
over the last 30 years, and all those  insufferable census forms that are done
at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name
is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if
that ever changed between now and  when I die!!!!!!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off  this morning. Between you an' me, I've
had enough of this bullshit!  You send the application to my house, then you
ask me for my address?
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal asses working there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?  I don't want to dig up
Yasser Arafat, I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would  you care whether I plan on
visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
weird to a chicken or a goat,  believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to
tell  anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city
and get another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it
be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in
the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy
and maybe make  sense. You'd rather have us running all over the  place 
like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that
it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic  morons)  Hey, you know why we can't smile? 
We're totally pissed  off!
Signed - An Irate Citizen.
P.S.. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me?  Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
........I have served in  the military for something over 30 years and have
had security clearances up the yingyang..........However, I have to get
someone  'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO 
WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA   !
Sincerely,
You Sure In The  Hell Should Know Who I  Am.
......................And you want to run  our health  care system?!?