lady killer I must apologize for the blurriness of the picture, but it's a difficult task to get a toddler that doesn't know you to stand still long enough to get the right angle. This was taken at my son's daycare. I love parents with a sense of humor.
  ¶ 4:18 PM 0 comments

  Locker Rooms I am not a fan of locker rooms.

Not because they don't serve a specific purpose, but moreso because some people just feel way too comfortable in the confines of the locker room.
Must have something to do with the smell of chlorine and sweat coupled with the visual of wooden benches bolted to the floor and blue metal mesh lockers.

All I needed to do was utilize one of the urinals, which is in what should be referred to as a "nude free" zone.
There is no need to be naked around the urinals and/or toilets. But some people just can't seem to understand that.

Zip up and turn around to wash my hands, cause you know washing hands can save lives (at least that's what the poster outside the hospital says), and what do I see but naked old guy ass.

What possesses someone to stand naked in front of the sinks and mirrors when all I want to do is wash up without catching sight of old guy schlong?
And I don't mean getting dressed in front of the mirror to check and see that he's buttoned up properly. I mean towel over the shoulder, arms above his head, twig & berries brushing countertop.

Not cool, old guy, not cool.

One little bit to be thankful for, at least he didn't try to strike up a converstion with me.  ¶ 2:12 PM 0 comments

  letter to the passport office... Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows
that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on
my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed
for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's
license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs
declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane
over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done
at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name
is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if
that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've
had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you
ask me for my address?

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal asses working there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up
Yasser Arafat, I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you care whether I plan on
visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to
tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city
and get another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it
be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in
the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy
and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place
like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that
it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile?
We're totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate Citizen.

P.S.. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
........I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have
had security clearances up the yingyang..........However, I have to get
someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO
WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !

Sincerely,

You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who I Am.

......................And you want to run our health care system?!?  ¶ 9:22 PM 0 comments