The      Guys' Rules
At      last a guy has taken the time to write this all down      Finally      , the guys' side of the story.
(I      must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always      hear      "the      rules      "
From      the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are      our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON      PURPOSE!
1.      Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're      a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it      down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1.      Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the      tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are      never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is      blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:     
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints      do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No      are      perfectly      Acceptable answers to almost every      question.
1. Come to us with a      problem      only      If you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your      girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is      a      problem      
See      a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an      argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7      Days.
1. If you won't dress like the      
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask      us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted      
we meant the      other      one      .
1. You can either ask us to do something,
Or tell us how you want      it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it      yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say      during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus      did      NOT need      directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like      Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.      Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have      no      idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it      will      Be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say      "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but      it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't      want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When      we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is      fine...      Really.      
1. Don't ask us what we're      thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,      the shotgun formation,
or      golf.
1.      You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am      in shape.      Round      IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to      sleep on the couch tonight;
But      did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
