Weekends
The weekend will now begin at 2:00 on Thursday and go until Noon on Monday. During Football season weekends will be expanded to Noon on Tuesday so people can sleep in after Monday night football games.

Gas
I will raise the price of Gas nationwide to $25 a gallon. By doing this, demand will be on the car companies to start producing affordable more powerful Hybrid and Electric cars. Once most of the U.S. is driving a little wimpy hybrid and oil companies have no more demand I will release gas prices back down to .05 cents a gallon and go buy a Hummer for 25 bucks. This will make Dinda Happy. I might even buy a Cadillac for those longer trips.

Interest Rates
I am going to lower the interest rate to minus 5%. That is right, the bank is going to pay you to borrow money. These banking SOB's have been robbing us all for years it is about time we got some of our hard earned money back.

Crime
I will assign people who have shown a life of law abiding, common sense, and decency (obviously none of you) the right to beat peoples asses without punishment. These people will have the right to kick your ass for being an idiot. We have to many dumbasses in this country and its time they got an ass beating. They will start with Congress and work their way down the ladder.

Poverty
No more government programs, get a job dipshit. If you can't get a job make one of your 14 kids get a job. We will help those incapable of work, outside of that put down the "need money for food" sign and go to Wal Mart.

Crime part 2
Hangings on the town square will start again ASAP. You get 2 weeks after being found guilty to appeal. Found guilty a second time, go straight to the Rope. Ways to get hung: rape, sell drugs, murder, beat your wife, molest anyone, give money to terrorist, help a terrorist, and owning a bar without Bud or Bud Light.

Obscenity Laws
Gone

Public Drunkenness
Mandatory weekly!

E-mail
Everyone who sends 2 or more e-mails a week and states that it needs to be sent to 10 or more people will get a visit from the dumbass police. We all have to much better to do than bother other people with these things. If they are funny send them on, if not, get ready for your ass whoopin.

Taxes
Gone as you know them. We are going to quit helping out all other countries. We are also doing away with welfare. We are going to start taxing people heavily to watch T.V. Shows on the WB will be taxed at 300 times the normal rate. I figure if you have time to watch something on WB then you have a lot of extra money or you will be visited by the dumbass police for your ass whoopin. We will also recoup are tax dollars by doing a new season of friends and charging $500 a show to watch. This country will have a surplus of money in no time. If not we will declare war on Microsoft, budget solved.

Last but not least,

Beer
Every American will have the right to receive a Bud Light no matter where on Earth he may be. Want to go to Ishlamahamada you will have a Bud Light. Countries that can not except this will be warned. If this does not work economic sanctions will begin. If that does not work watch out because we are coming for you. Unleash your beverages of Brain destruction for Americans all over the world to enjoy or feel the wrath of Whitt in 08.

Sponsored by the committee to make French people Bathe.
and IGINQ I'm Glad I'm Not Queer.

Whitt in 08

Please send this message to 10 people or..... Hey who are you, the dumbass police, what in the hell....... OWWWWWWWW

¶ 8:00 AM